When Does It Start Growing Ma?????

I hadn’t realised that I have not posted in 3 months. It’s not that I’ve had nothing to say, more likely that I haven’t wanted to say anything on a public forum. The same applies to Facebook. I spend more time farming than actually interacting with people.

Over the past few months I have wanted to avoid people rather than interact with them. I have enough of poeple during work hours and just want to shut myself off when I get home. Not easy to do when you are married but I do a good enough job at it.

I am currently getting through life by setting short term goals. These are the current highlights:

June 4th Father’s Birthday
July 23rd Wedding Anniversary
August 6th West Ham’s first match at home to Cardiff
August 11/15th Wife’s DAY of FUN & Family Weekend
September – Start of new football season
October 1st Sister’s no longer 40 day
November 10th Billy Bailey in Cardiff
November 11th Wife’s birthday (mustn’t say how old)
November 17th Wife’s 40th birthday weekend in Prague

Today must be the penultimate day of June because we have had an e-mail about the work’s Christmas Party – which I will not be attending.

Every night I have to cross the Second Severn Crossing to get home. This should be easy but every so often you get stuck for no apparent reason. Tonight was one of those nights.

I car-share and only have to drive every third week; this week is one of those weeks.

My 2 colleagues know I’m a Christian and I’m often asked about my faith. I’m only to happy to share my faith with them and answer any questions they have. Tonight was not one of those nights.

As we queued to get to the toll booths we had people trying to push in front of us. Some just pushed and others indicated. Now I had one of those days where things have gone well but something started the “going home whinge”. By the time we got to the toll queue I was in a very bad mood but for no apparent reason.

A woman in the lane next to us had tried to push in front of a few cars in front of us with no joy. People in the lane on the other side had just forced their way in and I was getting annoyed. I made it clear that I was going to move forward relentlessly.

The colleague next to me asked why I wasn’t a “Christian Driver”. I pointed out that I could find no eveidence in the bible that we had to be. I said I’d seen nothing about giving right of way to someone else’s chariot or ass. However I relented and let in the lady in the next lane and saw that a car in front of her had broken down.

I tried to brighten my mood but could only do so for a short time. My colleagues started to playfully suggest that I should do something to get them home quicker, as they would if they were driving. I pointed out that this was slightly impossible (in slightly different words) as the lanes were all congested.

Then the people who had changed lanes moved back and we moved forward faster. However as we approached the booths we found that the people to our left had actually been queuing between lanes and were trying to take advantage of this fact by moving back over, without indicating.

This time I decided that nothing was keeping me from that toll booth. So I moved forward and left no gap for anyone to get in front of me. The guy at the front looked rather upset as about 5 other cars in front did the same but he hadn’t indicated, just tried to force his way in. Having driven in London for 10 years I know how to stand my ground.

Again my colleague commented on my “Christian Driving” (or lack of it).

When I’d dropped them off I started thinking. Was this the way to advertise my Christianity to others? I don’t suppose it is. Yet, aren’t Christians allowed to have an off day as well? Aren’t we subject to the same highs and lows as anyone else?

Maybe I should have been more inclined to let people move out in front of me. On the other hand does being a Christian mean that we should be a doormat for the world to wlk over? How do we know when we are being to far over on either side of the equation?

More importantly, have I damaged the image of a Christian in the eyes of my colleagues?

These are from the BBC report regarding the government’s announcement regarding the proposed legislation to allow Gay marriages to take place in places of worship:

Men and women the world over just live together without ceremony of any kind: why can’t same sex couples do the same? It’s far easier to walk away from the relationship too. We can’t help who we love but it is again the minority we hear from bleeting and baaing about what they want. Get on with living together and shut up. The law of God and the Bible will not be rewritten for you – having a ceremony of whatever kind is hollow in the grand plan – can’t you just live your lives? Kathleen Steward, Leicester

If you are a Christian, you believe that homosexuality is immoral. Why any church would allow a gay couple to get married in their church is beyond belief as it’s a contradiction of what the Bible tells Christians. If you read the article carefully however, the title is very misleading. Most churches are not allowing the marriage of gay couples. Only the very liberal and left wing churches are considering it. Scott, Walsall, West Midlands

The church has to move with the times or die painfully over a long period. There should be no distinction between couples, as long as they are happy and are willing to commit to each other then why marginalise gay couples. This form of apartheid has gone on for long enough and the Church should open its mind to higher and more important values. Mark Woolfson, Leeds

We are falling behind a number of EU countries that have actually moved from a formal partnership to a marriage. Why doesn’t the UK be one of the trend-setting innovators to allow gay marriages in religious settings; church, mosque or temple. Craid Chadwick, Leeds

I do not agree with Mark or Craid. The church has no need to adapt its teachings to comply with any government legislation on this subject. What right do we have to compromise on the teachings of God? Just because some disagree with them, does not make them wrong!

I agree with Kathleen, God’s law is not rewritten just because parts of society may not agree with them. Some things are not to be compromised on.

That does not mean that I condemn people who disagree with my opinion. That is not my place to make a judgement; I have plenty of faults of my own. Yet I do not see why my faith should be compromised to satisfy a minority. Nor do I believe that politicians have the right to dictate to the electorate. Democracy is supposed to be about the views of the majority but no one ever seems to bother finding out what those views are.

Civil law is different to moral and divine law. People cannot be expected to go against their beliefs, no matter which side of the fence they are on.

I have a Kindle. I have had it for a month now. Kindle is good.

I have read 11 books already. Everything from Ancient Rome (fiction and history), a couple of Pratchett books, the Red Riding Quartet and several others. Today I read while being driven home from work, with my cover light illuminating the page.

This is a great piece of kit and one that I’m really pleased to have bought. I now have over 40 books on the machine and have found myself reading more than one at a time. It is just like reading a book. The font and black and white print make it feel just like a book; even using the cover enhances the fact.

The choice of books is exapnding all the time. A few weeks ago there was only 2 Elmore Leonard books available but now there are a great deal more.

The downside….

You cannot buy books from Amazon.com. As you do not live there that option is not open to you. A great disappointment as there are several books there that I want.

Though you can subscribe to newspapers and magazines some of these are overally expensive; they are not formatted to the Kindle but cut and pasted; photos are removed but the headings remain.

It has web options and speech text but these are more like Beta than finished versions.

The plus side….

Free books. Yes, FREE!!! Tacitus, Plato, classics and others that cost nothing. Even some new books are available.

No more carrying countless books on holiday or running out of things to read. You just order more if that happens, not even to physically enter a shop.

Less clutter at home. Fewer physical books to put on shelves, stack in piles or trip over

No one knows what you are reading or how far in you are. This is a problem for some as it removes Book Snobbery, unless you say: “I’m reading Euripedes in the original Greek” or “I’d never read a Dan Brown novel”.

It is environmentally friendly, fewer trees will need to die in future.

For those worried about not owning the physical book and turning pages, don’t be. I thought that this would be a problem but now I wish I’d done this years ago. It is as easy as a book, as comforting as a book and as engaging as a book. I have the entire Decline & Fall of the Roman Empire in my bag every day, an English Dictionary and an American Dictionary. I can even download The Bible.

Recently I have been finding that I have a few disconnections in my life.

I am, unsurprisingly, no longer happy at work. I have the feeling that I no longer belong here. Motivating myself every day is becoming harder and harder. The work just seems to get more and more, the time to deal with it less and less and the enjoyment fading extremely quickly.

What makes things worse is that I am beginning to feel that I no longer want to do the job for much longer. There is no longer any fulfilment in it for me. I don’t have a clear idea as to what else I want to do though.

In my Christian life I’m feeling a sense of emptiness as well. Yesterday I realised that I haven’t been to chapel since the Sunday before Christmas. Ok, so last week I was due to preach away and let FW doo the sermon, after I led the rest.

Yesterday I was tired after going to Liverpool on Saturday for the football, it was a long day. Yet FW and I talked and I realised that I no longer felt rewarded by the chapel experience. I like the people in our chapel but feel less and less connected. There is something missing from the entire experience.

As I lay in the bath I thought that my chapel life is no longer rewarding because it lacks leadership and real involvement, other than a Sunday morning. With the exception of the Monday night prayer for youth outreach, there is nothing else for me to take part in.

I have also begun to feel that God wants me to do soemthing different. That he has a plan for me that involves more than just being a member of the congregation. Exactly what He has planned I don’t know but I finally feel ready to hand things over and let Him lead me forward.

All I know is that I want things to change and just changing a job or chapel wouldn’t be anything other than a temporary sticking plaster to hide the problem.

I am indeed a man!

Not just a man but a MAN!!!!!!

I do think differently from women; I also think differently from many men (those who are not MEN!!!!!!).

I care about many things in life but only important things. I leave the little things alone, as they are not worth spending my time on. If little things grow into BIG THINGS then this becomes more important to me but I have noticed that many BIG THINGS also turn into little things again.

Money comes in and money goes out. In the long term these things either balance themselves out…..

or you die.

Health is soemthing that you have little control over. You can’t stop yourself becoming ill or your leg falling off or your bowel turning into a fossilised mammoth. These things also balance themselves out…..

or you die.

Families fall out and make up. Kids grow old and either become ******* scrotes or well adjusted members of society – this is down to luck rather than worry. They balance themselves out….

or you die.

Do you see the process??

Why worry? It only brings on death in a far quicker way. Better to think about things you can have an effect or, solve or choose to ignore. Other things will resolves themselves…..

or you DIE!!!!!!!

Reading other people’s blogs recently has made me realise what an easy life I have. I tend not to fret about things and go through life with a feeling of calmness, with occasional bouts of aggressive annoyance.

I have never had a general goal for my life but seem to meander through without too much trouble. I don’t look back with regret at the things I’ve done or the decisions I’ve made. After all I am where I am through the choices I’ve made, or not made.

I had no ambition to get married or have kids. I understand why these things are important to most other people but never really concerned me. The nearest I ever got was when I decided, at 39, that maybe it would be nice to find someone I could settle down with; the rest is history…

When I read posts where people open their hearts due to a failure to achieve certain goals I think how lucky I am, and have been. I can’t say its all been easy or trouble free. I’ve made a few mistakes, some more serious than others but I am happy with where I am.

Where am I going? I don’t know, don’t really care and will leave that to God and FW!!!! I would like some things to be different but they are minor things compared to what life can offer.

I would like to be able to do something that contributes more. Yet work takes up a lot of energy, especially as it is busier and busier but no additional time to do things.

I’m just going to put my faith in God opening doors when He is ready.

Christmas was a very strange event this year. For the firts time ever FW and I had Christmas on our own. No family, no chapel and not even any Troublesome Trucks. The weather definitely made a difference. Having said that we did have a very enjoyable day and FW cooked her second Christmas ever, which was very good.

A friend visited on Boxing Day and stayed over. I must say that vegetarians are very odd people…

As you can see from FW’s post she managed to knock the first item on her “Things To Do Before She’s Old” list and has enquired about a second. Be prepared for requests for sponsorship to emerge.

We finally got to see my parents on Monday and my sister and her family today. Prezzies are now delivered and received. I’m just waiting for my Kindle to arrive, next week hopefully, and Christmas will be finished for another year.

Many thanks to all who supplied Birthday wishes!!!

As many of you may know, today we have had more snow. I know this as it took me 5 hours to get home. In fact it took 1.5 times as long to get home as I spent in work.

It started shortly after I get in. Within 20 minutes we had an inch of snow on the road outside. Even the passing of vans and trcuks made little impression on it. We had reports that trucks were unable to get to us; that ports had not worked over the weekend and some were closing this morning. My boss had regular updates from home and was looking at the camera feed on the M4 in South Wales.

Around 11:00 someone announced that they had to leave. At 11: 15 we had an e-mail from our transport department saying that all trucks were being recalled from South Wales and the South West due to the weather conditions. By 11:30 I decided that I’d leave around 12:00, after finishing some important work off.

Then I had a call from our Regional Director, at 11:50, telling me that I should consider waiting an hoour or so, as things may clear up – but it was up to me. My 2 colleagues who I’d normally carshare with had left 20 minutes earlier. I pointed out that FW had called to advise that her work, in our town, was closing and that buses were stopping; in addition our house is 950ft up from the valley floor.

So I agreed with my boss that I’d leave and promised that I’d let him know about the conditions on the M4. The road from the office to the M49 was one long icerink. The M49 was down to 2/3rds of a usuable lane and the M4 had a 30mph speed limited and two lanes that were only just usable. At 3:15 I received an e-mail from the director advising us that the road outside the office was dangerous.

It is good to know that our bosses take their legal requirement to consider the safety and wellbeing of their staff so seriously.

For the last few days I have been juggling work and Christmas deliveries to customers. Having moved to our office near Isambard Kingdom Brunel’s iron ship from Wales travelling has been fun. So far I have done close to 300 miles in three days and have 2 more afternoons to go.

In order to insure that my work is done I have only gone out for half days. My old boss thought that this was sensible. My new boss keeps talking about “another half day then?” He is currently unhappy because my old boss has complained about him, so I’m stuck in the middle.

I really enjoyed working for my old boss. He was easy going, trusted you to get things done and did everything he could to support you. My new boss is a small minded, bureaucratic, jobsworth. When I have been off I have had nothing but complaints about the service provided. He doesn’t actually manage of us and looks to blame anyone else when things go wrong.

He objects if you use suppliers that he hasn’t worked with and takes every opportunity to complain if things don’t happen according to plan. However if his favourites do the same thing he hides the problems. Our sales people have complained because he does not provide them with competitive rates and he complains that they never bring in new business – yet can’t see he maybe at fault for this.

He was annoyed yesterday because our regional director asked me to quote for a new customer, who is a friend of his. Then today he embarrassed himself as I was leaving by trying to have another dig about me being out tomorrow. He couldn’t understand that I am visiting customers I have brought to the company, or customers who don’t want to deal with him or anyone else. My old boss understood that such people needed to be dealt with differently but my new boss doesn’t. The 2 guys I car share with were very happy to have a laugh at his expense as we drove home.

Unfortunately he is under pressure from our director to improve the way his department works and to show that he is actively supporting the sales team, and not relying on existing customers to increase business.